GAY R*tard plays COD feat. Ecstasys/Molly

A gamer discusses personal experiences with complex post traumatic stress disorder, examining how dissociation manifests in daily life and interpersonal interactions. They reflect on the challenges of seeking professional psychiatric help, framing traditional therapy and clinical settings as impersonal institutions that fail to address genuine individual trauma. These reflections are interspersed with gameplay from Call of Duty, used as a backdrop to explore themes of emotional numbness and the search for authentic connection. Psychedelic substances, including MDMA and cannabis, are touched upon as self management tools to navigate these internal states and access emotional depth. The commentary highlights the perceived limitations of conventional mental health care and emphasizes the role of external validation and community in personal healing processes.